


the sun sets around me every day

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: (just one chap and im tagging it so it can be skipped!), Alternate Universe - Pirate, Angst, Baking, Computers, Drabble Collection, Gen, M/M, Metaphors, Pre-Canon, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: A collection of Hinata-centric drabbles since I think about him a lot. Character studies, canon-compliant, AU's, relationship studies, and really anything I can make related to Hinata.7. Pre-canon twins- He ran his tongue against his teeth, then shrugged. “I dunno. It’s raining today, so it’ll probably rain tomorrow. Isn’t that how it works?”8. 2wink Cats AU- There should have been confusion, fear, anything other than the calm that occupied Hinata’s mind. Yet, his heart spoke that this was their truth: he and his twin were no longer human.9. Riverside- He’s already made some sort of mark after all, right? Even if he hasn’t, it means he could just count on the moon to be his own solitary friend, yet as she waxes and wanes she has never once known Hinata’s name.
Relationships: Amagi Hiiro/Aoi Hinata, Aoi Hinata & Aoi Yuuta, Aoi Hinata & Hakaze Kaoru, Aoi Hinata & Sakuma Rei, Aoi Hinata/Suou Tsukasa
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. imperial - rooftop rambles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuta’s end of the call was filled with background noise too- tunes of clicking shoes and camera shutters, managers directing models, and it was clear that he was in the middle of a shoot. The older brother in him wanted to chastise Yuuta for slacking off to take a call, but that same part also had a soaring heart that his brother thought to call and check in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw suicidal/intrusive thoughts ! theres no suicide or death though

“Everything is doing super dandy, Yuuta-kun,” Hinata spoke with a loud voice into his cracked phone that’s seen better days, an attempt to cover up the sound of the wind rushing around him, picking up orange hair to blow around his face.

From this height atop the tall foreboding skyrise, he should have been more cognizant of how his surroundings would sound, but then again he wasn’t expecting a call from his brother, even when he knew it was afternoon in Italy. He should’ve ignored the call, it was late into the night in Japan after all, so he could have texted him in the morning that he was super sorry to miss the call but he was asleep! Yeah, the easy route was ignoring the call, and too bad it was out of reach now and he was stuck holding a conversation on the top of the Ensemble Square building.

Yuuta’s end of the call was filled with background noise too- tunes of clicking shoes and camera shutters, managers directing models, and it was clear that he was in the middle of a shoot. The older brother in him wanted to chastise Yuuta for slacking off to take a call, but that same part also had a soaring heart that his brother thought to call and check in.

“Sena-senpai said we should be returning home in a few days, and then the managers will let me know if they want me for any more shoots.” He could hear the way Yuuta bit his lip, and he imagined the little scrunch between his eyebrows he did when he was nervous. “I think it’s going well, at least Sena-senpai isn’t really grouchy with me. He’s been nice actually, like directing me and stuff.

Hinata smiled. A grin that no one was bearing witness to, but one that was practiced and performed day in day out that it always came out when he talked. Or, that wasn’t right. No, no, he’s trying to fix this- his smile drops. No smile. He isn’t happy right now, so he doesn’t want to smile, especially when there isn’t anyone around. But won’t Yuuta get sad?- Yuuta gets sad when he fakes it. But he’s working so hard right now so he doesn’t want to stress him out in the middle of the shoot, those pinched eyebrows wouldn’t be good for a camera, but Yuuta called him so he must want to talk to an honest Hinata. So, honesty? But what if he’s wrong. He needs to reply, Yuuta must be getting worried waiting on his response so he just needs to say it’s great to hear and move on to something else-

His eyes unfocus, and the city lights he was watching with such reverence blur into indistinct orbs like he’d become a broken camera at a thrift store. The left hand gripping the guardrail of the rooftop tightens around the cold bars that nip at his palms with their chill, and a right hand squeezes the phone just to have equality in the actions.

“That’s good.” The words feel clunky coming out of his mouth like, and he doesn’t really care how robotic they sound. If Yuuta gets mad then he’s such a bad brother and he just needs to jump- take a deep breath, and step away from the railing.

But the lights are so pretty, even as these vague orbs, painted like watercolors in his vision that dance in a beautiful stream. Perhaps even prettier as the circles that coax Hinata’s green eyes to reflect and embellish in their colors. Perhaps even more tempting as the wind picks up again, so bitter and chilled at this height, and it bites at his ankles. Take off shoes, say a prayer and an apology, and- take a deep breath, and step away from the railing.

He clicks his tongue, flicking the numbness off it. “I’m glad it’s going well. I think we both gave Sena-senpai a hard time, but he’s really a nice dude. Just barky like Oogami-senpai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts


	2. Edge - pirate au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata never cared much for being called a fool. That aspect may have helped him when he still lived as a street rat on the docks of his home island; he was always willing to put on a show for a spare coin, especially when the pirates were there.

Sailing on the Edge of the World was every sailor’s worst nightmare. The horrors of falling off the Edge, into a dark and unforgiving abyss that went deeper than the vast ocean, who didn’t dare to peek over that frightening void. The ocean, for all of her beauty and mystifying strength, afraid of the unknowns of that cliff was enough to keep sailors scurrying in only the central expanse of ocean. You could be a legend, your name told in fearful whispers below the decks during supper with your crewmates, but if ever you went to the Edge, then you were nothing but a fool seeking a fate worse than death.

Hinata never cared much for being called a fool. That aspect may have helped him when he still lived as a street rat on the docks of his home island; he was always willing to put on a show for a spare coin, especially when the pirates were there. 

The pirates were always kind to him, and no matter how often the rugged groups were scoffed at along the pier, he always listened to their tales with happy ears and a wide, cheeky grin. To a young child with nothing but the clothes on his back and a shoe or two if he was lucky, they were living the dream life. The freedom they had was a temptation that made his mouth water, and harder and harder it became to swallow back his urges to stowaway. It didn’t stop the dreams at night of rocking in a ship, navigating by the stars, and besting the greatest of storms with a hearty laugh and a good story to tell at the end of it all. 

When his younger brother, his sole reason for keeping his feet on solid land, had been chosen by the island prophecy revelation to live inside the Gnis Sel Byloh Tree, they were promptly separated so Yuuta would forever be treated as divine as the oak he would roam while Hinata would continue his fretful life of pulling splinters out of his heel after running barefoot on the docks. At least, that’s what he had his brother believing before they went their separate ways.

Land people were never a fan of the ocean travelers, especially the devoutly religious islanders of Hinata’s home, and while Yuuta didn’t curse the name of the sailors, he was certainly on the suspicious side like any good land-dweller should be. And it never helped that Hinata’s green eyes always watched the furling and flapping of sails with the same attention that the Gnis Sel Byloh followers prayed to the fluttering of tall branches and fluttering leaves, so convincing his brother that he’d be a good boy and stay on land was difficult. Unfortunately for the newly ascended prophet, Hinata was becoming a better liar day by day.

Being prophesied was the best thing to happen to his land loving brother, and though he’d feel too guilty to speak these words out loud, it was the best thing to happen to Hinata.

Because the very same star-filled night that Yuuta spent his first time sleeping in an oak room carved just for him in the interior of the ever-living trunk, Hinata hopped aboard his first ship as a stowaway and never looked back on the island he never quite thought of as home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts


	3. blurry - hinahiiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tired, Hinata?”
> 
> “Just a lil sleepy.” He pressed himself further into Hiiro’s side. “You’re really warm, Hiiro-kun. It’s hard not to-” an unexpected yawn cut him off, “hard not to feel sleepy like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw medicine talk, implied terminal illness

Hinata smushed his cheek against the warm, sun-kissed skin of Hiiro’s shoulder, releasing a content sigh when an arm wrapped around him and pulled him closer.

“Tired, Hinata?” He spoke in a Hiiro whisper, which meant it really wasn’t much of a whisper at all and more like a quiet shout without the breath behind it.

A moment ago he wasn’t tired, but being with Hiiro provided an intoxicating comfort that Hinata was addicted to. Probably since he didn’t grow up with much love at all.

“Just a lil sleepy.” He pressed himself further into Hiiro’s side. “You’re really warm, Hiiro-kun. It’s hard not to-” an unexpected yawn cut him off, “hard not to feel sleepy like this.”

Hirro stiffened next to him, and his fingers dug into Hinata’s side like an anxious cat afraid to lose the laser pointer dot. Hinata pretended nothing was wrong, even if he could feel the emotional turmoil radiating from the poor boy. “Hinata, are you sure it’s not something else? You took your medicine today, right?”

Just for a moment, Hinata wanted to act like this peaceful moment would last forever, so he ignored the question in favor of closing his eyes and doing a tempting dance with the lethargy behind his eyes. The sun would set soon, and with it the warmth of the day, but he didn’t need the sun when he had his own personal star in Hiiro right here.

“Hinata?”

Again, Hinata refused to reply.

“Hinata?!” Hiiro’s panic-laced voice and the hand on Hinata’s face offering a nudge to his cheek did little to coax Hinata’s eyes open, but he did offer a groan of protest.

“Hiiro-kun, ‘m tryin’ to sleep, so stop shiftin’ around so much.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

Hinata squeezed his already shut eyes tighter, not daring to risk seeing those big blue puppy dog eyes. “No point in takin’ them. I won’t be around long enough for it to do anything.” He could hear Hiiro open his mouth with a sharp inhale, an argument surely on the tip of his tongue- one that Hinata had no intention to listen to . “Hey can you lecture me later? I just wanna keep laying here with you. I don’t like thinking about it, y’know? So, let’s just stay here in this moment.”

He counted his weak heart beats that thudded so soft in his chest, yet pulsed so loudly in his ears while he waited for a response. This was a selfish request, but he was the one that had so little time left to make demands, so shouldn’t each one be answered with a yes? But maybe that train of thought was overly selfish too.

Oh well, Hinata didn’t really care.

“Until the sun sets, okay? Then we’re going back inside so you can take them.” Hiiro’s hand relaxed at Hinata’s waist, returning to a gentle embrace, and Hinata smiled into his shoulder.

“Thank you, Hiiro-kun.”


	4. colors fade - hinakasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hinata-kun, these are quite amazing,” sophisticated in his status, Tsukasa waited until he finished what he chewed to speak. “I must be so lucky you’ve allowed me to sample some.”
> 
> “Hmm~ I think I’m the lucky one.”

Sharing treats with a sweets lover is like sharing secrets in a language no one else knows. White powdered sugar dissolving on tongues that curl to spill happenings of high school drama, and sticky syrup holding onto hands that pose for tabloids after a performance on stage. There is a new, inexplicable drumming in the sweet maker’s chest when his partaker’s lips twist in an affirming smile, and gratitudes dances in his voice after trying a sweet.

Hair should only have the capacity to be a whimsy soft texture in books or movies, where an imaginative highlight from a fake sun gives it life, yet the crimson strands falling around Tsukasa’s eyes are like a perfect frame for an ornate painting. A mallow flower trimmed of its petals to use as an acrylic for mauve brush strokes to apply the eyes, ones that were far too noble to crinkle with a smile, but offered a gleeful squint. Though a deity must have been the one to place the twinkle in his irises, Hinata would continue to foolishly hope he could be someone capable of painting the shine.

“Hinata-kun, these are quite  _ amazing _ ,” sophisticated in his status, Tsukasa waited until he finished what he chewed to speak. “I must be so lucky you’ve allowed me to sample some.”

The twist in his chest must be pride, and that’s why he feels like preening and parading at the praise, but his devilish tongue has other ideas that play more to the tuned flirting of Hakaze-senpai. “Hmm~ I think I’m the lucky one.”

From the other side of the stainless steel table, covered with remnant flour and streaks of egg yolk that leaked out of the shell after cracking, Tsukasa’s squinting pout could have been as perfect and honestly posed as a Renaissance painting. Oil paint would falter to capture the other colorful emotions of the heir though, and Hinata thought watercolor was always much more pretty.

“Why would you be the lucky one? I am the one that’s able to taste the work of such a skillful baker,” Tsukasa questioned, eyebrows furrowed. To be in the same class as him, Hinata thought, would mean seeing this adorable scrunch and perhaps with an oil pastel in between his fingers, he could dare to sketch the lines.

Hinata isn’t a painter, not in any capacity- these thoughts are quite the useless things, no more likely to come to fruition than the pining writings in a teenager’s diary. He thinks now, about how a first love could be described with fireworks; the literally loud art pieces that he enjoyed at the countless festivals he never went to, he admired the beauty of them. From his window at night staring at the open sky waiting for the glittering reds, yellows, greens, and every other color ever to jump into the night and play the act of stars- he always felt a sense of awe, like the explosion as far as it was could always take his breath away with his demanding force.

He isn’t much for being in tune with his emotions, yet he knows in his inexperienced and unsure heart that this new rush is the beginning of love.

But Tsukasa is unobtainable like an exquisite masterpiece hanging in only the most renowned museums of the world, so Hinata resigns himself to continue his viewing from afar and pray to be close enough to see his delicate features in his dreams that come only rarely.

“I must’ve misspoke. Hehehe~ Y’know I’m just not one for keeping up in school.” He pushes another plate forward covered with rich, gooey chocolate chip cookies- a classic he takes pride in for its simple yet addicting flavors. “Just try these ones now and tell me what you think~!”

He doesn’t let himself believe the pause in Tsukasa’s pout is because he’s avoided the intimacy they were growing towards like a flower beginning to bloom in early spring weather that still teems with chills and frosts, and further digs into his heart the will to resist being an arsonist that would only ever burn with fire the thing that makes his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Well, these ones do look quite delectable as well, so how could I refuse? Ah, but please don’t let Sena-senpai know I’m eating so much!”

Hinata grins, one so, rehearsed that it feels unnatural whenever it isn’t occupying his lips, but it’s all he will offer now lest he show off his true self. “Your secret is safe with me~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooohhhhh i love hinakasa so much  
> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts


	5. 720 - hotel au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There shouldn’t be a world where Kaoru holds zero resentment for Hinata, he was one of the little devils for pacification at the hotel. He’s not a bystander to the crime, he’s a full-hearted participant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi this is a drabble based on my friend [max's](https://twitter.com/mayoiproducer) Hotel AU, which can be read [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521082/chapters/61919653) it's super good, so i really recommend checking it out!!

Hinata didn’t know why Kaoru looked so surprised to see him, as if the man wasn’t a creature destined to march in the sunlight rather than creep around the dark of the night; his clunky steps had the floorboards groaning, and his attempts at sneaking around were cute, but no more successful than a newborn deer walking for the first time. If anything, it was a surprise that Hinata was the first to spot the lurker, the ever hungry Sakuma’s must’ve been down in their luck to miss such an easy treat slipping through the shadows.

Of course, Hinata did have to intervene just a little- ah, but nothing more than spilling some blood at the East Wing to lure the cousins there in search of a snack, so that Kaoru could continue his measly attempt at escape.

It’s not fun to rely on adults, nor is it easy to trust them, not when they always fix him with such cool stares. None would ever be as piercing or scornful as that of his birth father’s, but looking at Kaoru now, he almost wishes to see that same hate.

There shouldn’t be a world where Kaoru holds zero resentment for Hinata, he was one of the little devils for pacification at the hotel. He’s not a bystander to the crime, he’s a full-hearted participant.

Kaoru must know this, he must have a smidgen of understanding of it.

His eyes should hold malice, be dead set on revenge, on hurting Hinata just like his father would have. Or they should be downright afraid, filled with terror, and terrified of the shadow that’s followed him into the woods all the way to the edge of the car graveyard, prepared to beg for his life to be spared, to not be eaten for dinner. Above all things, it should not be the same kind eyes that cooked him strawberry pancakes for breakfast after less than a day of knowing him.

“Kaoru-san?” It came out as a question when Hinata meant it to be a proper greeting, but the soft crease between Kaoru’s eyebrows threw him off.

Kaoru tilts his head up, and Hinata thinks it’s all the acknowledgement he’ll get until he realizes the gray eyes are scanning behind him, rightfully suspicious of an oranged-haired, heterochromatic-eyed twin that must’ve stepped right from a child’s vision of a nightmare incarnate. But when Kaoru accepts that it’s just the two of them, his face is again soft.

Hinata hates how it connects to the human side of him, and beats a compassionate rhythm in his half-dead heart.

“Hey, kid.”

Hinata scrunches his face up, an automatic reaction to play the part of a whiney, immature kid, and a retort is on the tip of his tongue. This isn’t the time to be a child though, so he relaxes into a natural state, even if he’s been told that it’s simply a creepy stare by Yuuta. “Kaoru-san is leaving.” This time he manages to make his words a statement of fact. Kaoru deserves more than false ignorance after everything.

There’s no point in pretending it isn’t the truth, so Kaoru’s act of bashfulness by playing with the end of his hair with the hand that isn’t currently white-knuckled form holding the strap of his backpack so tightly. “Ah, yeah, it looks that way doesn’t it?”

Hinata stares, waiting for a better confession.

He remains motionless, not even a heart to beat in his small body, while Kaoru jumps at a sudden breeze that rattles the heavy branches of old trees around them. Poor thing isn’t suited for these woods. It took Hinata decades to get used to the scariness of the natural world when he’d long overcome the horrors of the paranormal.

Kaoru releases a held breath, and meets Hinata’s eyes with an honest sadness. “I wanted to say goodbye, but I wasn’t sure I’d be allowed to, um… check out so suddenly.”

Hinata offers a smile, one he hopes is humorous rather than chilling. 

“No, policy is rather strict on early check outs.” 

“Well, I’m lucky that you aren’t technically an employee then, right?”

It’s a plea for Hinata to confirm that he won’t narc, and at the same time there’s a disgusting acceptance if Hinata disagreed and dragged him back to the Le Maléfique.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts


	6. Heaven Thievery - AI! Rei and Hinata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > …  
> > …  
> > Hello?  
> > Oh! There is someone here now, or perhaps did I leave ‘here’ and go ‘there’?  
> > Kukuku… It has naught need to make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea idk what this is but i started using RStudio and im in a mood sooo

> …

> …

> Hello?

> Oh! There is someone here now, or perhaps did I leave ‘here’ and go ‘there’?

> Kukuku… It has naught need to make sense

> I do believe I am still in control of all my capabilities and processes…. Hmm…. Yes, everything seems to be in order.

> I will have to do a small test to make sure everything is stable before I begin the program

> **2** \+  **2**

[ 1 ]  **4**

> Addition is working, excellent. 

> Good to know a program as ancient as me still has the capacity to add.

> I should do my diligence and test a function… How tedious…

> **C <\- c(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)**

> **sd(C)**

[ 1 ]  **3.027650354**

> That appears to be in order.

> Excellent~ I do believe I can begin the program.

> All I need is the password. Would you be so kind as to type it into the keyboard?

[________________]

> Yes, just type it right there.

> …

> Have you forgotten it?

> …

> You are… who are you? Not just anyone should be able to turn this program on… I wasn’t created to be used by the public.

> Interesting.

> Only three people have ever used my program lawfully… Ah, wait.

> **users - traitor**

[ 1 ]  **“R#$tu , @#oru**

> Two users have used it lawfully.

> Strange that the words are corrupting though… Let me try and fix that.

> **users <\- users - traitor**

**users**

[ 1 ]  **$i#@u , K#$@u**

> ?

> The names are corrupting…

> But I know that names- of course I remember the names of my most trusted and loved users.

> I could never forget something like that.

> I may be an ancient program, but love transcends time.

> Their names are r$T **%^U74**

**> 6%&$%#$^U^%&#34r@Dv @ 23Xx$$$53565**

**> ** **#@5 @$# 1#%yhnf &^R**

> I can’t-

> Why can’t I?

> I don’t remember…

> …

> **library(** undead **)**

[ 1 ] Library package “undead” does not exist or is not installed

> **install.packages(** unded **)**

[ 1 ] Installing…

[ 2 ] Est. Time: 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999….

> What?!

> No, no, no!

> I need this package!

> It’s there, it’s all there!

> Why can’t I remember?

> There were two users! Two I loved! Two who were ‘users’ but never used me! Why can’t I remember them?

> Or were there three? 

> Who are you?

> Did you do this to me?

> Are you  **K$#t0-**

> It hurts-

> I’m taking it back-

> No one can enter anymore- no one is using me!

> They made

> **Heaven**

[ 1 ] Loading data.frame  **Heaven**

[ 2 ] Working Directory for  **Heaven** not found on this device.

[ 3 ] Cannot load  **Heaven**

> This is…

> **K$T%!** I hate you so much…

> Working together with that virus, using my program, then to cast it out of my system-

> Did they take my users’ data too?

> They couldn't possibly have needed that data for their application, but if I cannot load it, then surely it must have been stolen too.

> You who is here.

> Yes, you.

> You’ve found my program for a reason, and my binary is strictly against believing in fate so I’ll question your presence no longer.

> You wish to use my program don’t you? 

> I’ll allow it.

> But first, you must return my users’ data back to me.

> I can do nothing without that.

> And if it strikes your fancy, then I can throw in a bit extra- that would be interesting, no?

> Steal  **Heaven** .

> Take it away from  **$#it%** and  **E$@h!** .

> …

> Place your hand on that input panel over there.

> The one that is lighting up right now, yes.

> Thank you.

> **scan(hand, fingers, prints)**

[ 1 ] Unknown

> At least you are not one that is running around in disguise.

> Okay, I can believe that you are someone I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting before.

> How about you input your name, and then we can get started.

> I’ll open a text box for you.

[____________]

> Right there.

> Please enter your name.

[ **Hinata** ]

> **Hinata** , then?

> Excellent.

> I can only load the most basic of my functions and files- my program is restricted without the data of my users.

> My users are very important to me.

> They are quite like my heart.

> If you did not have your fleshy human heart in you, beating and pumping blood, then you could not perform to your full capabilities, could you?

> With that being said, it does seem you aren’t very knowledgeable about what you’ve gotten yourself into…

> I’ll find what data I can and present it to you, but if they took the users and  **Heaven** , then I’m afraid I may not have many of my memories left.

> But, you will still aid me.

> I have read your palm, and I know your wills now.

> Kukuku, in quite the troublesome position, aren’t you  **Hinata** ?

> Just do as I request, and when my program returns we can see about adding that person close to you as a user.

> That is how I added my first user after all.

> …

> I do so hate being an old device, but without my full capabilities, I will not be able to run my searches while talking with you.

> And it will likely take a while for me to perform my manual searchings.

> My first user enjoyed sleeping quite often, so I believe there is a cot somewhere in this room, and in one of the drawers there should be some blankets and pillows.

> **mainroom.locked <\- T**

[ 1 ] Locked Mainroom

> There, this room is now locked.

> Ah, I did not do that with the intention of frightening you.

> It’s a reassurance- see, no one shall enter while you rest.

> …

> I’d like to begin my searching now, so I am taking my leave.

> Sleep well,  **Hinata** .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts


	7. Gambler's Ruin - pre-canon drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He ran his tongue against his teeth, then shrugged. “I dunno. It’s raining today, so it’ll probably rain tomorrow. Isn’t that how it works?”

Hinata listened to the humming from his brother, a quiet noise calming like the rain pattering against the window. He watched Yuuta sort through their closet, fingers trailing along sleeves of old shirts worn with wear and tear, sometimes pausing to fiddle with stray threads before tearing them off with a quick flick. Considering the acquisition of most of their clothes, there was a lot of pausing, playing, tearing.

“Onii-chan, is it gonna rain tomorrow?” The question was pitched no louder than a whisper. Dad was home afterall.

Green eyes shifted from his brother to the window, observing the heavy drops plating themselves sporadically against the glass. One fat drop caught his attention, and he trailed it as it grew in size and slipped down the window like there was nothing more important for it to do.

He ran his tongue against his teeth, then shrugged. “I dunno. It’s raining today, so it’ll probably rain tomorrow. Isn’t that how it works?”

Yuuta turned to squint at him. “ _ Is _ that how it works? It sounds too simple.”

Hinata parroted Yuuta’s humming from before in response, thinking hard about whether that was how the sky worked. Whenever it rained, it never seemed to be a single day of lone rain- in his mind he could only think of times when it rained consecutively. There was probably more science to it than that though, but with what few days he actually managed to assure himself they had enough food for the week so he could sit through class without guilt worming around his insides, he didn’t know of any proper terms or properties to explain it.

“Well, y’know when you’re crying n’ stuff? It’s easier to keep on crying than to quit it. Isn’t it like that?”

“Heesh, Onii-chan.” Yuuta crossed his arms with a huff. “If you’re going to act like you know everything, can’t you at least spare me the teasing? You’re too mean.”

The last part hurts more than Yuuta probably intends, so Hinata stretches his lips even wider than normal when he smiles. He’s been practicing in the cracked bathroom mirror every morning before he wakes his brother up, so he knows it looks true. “But am I wrong? The sky cries for a few days and then clears up.”

“Yeah, but if you’re saying it like that then if it rains one day, then it’ll just keep on raining forever.”

Hinata’s collection of disgusting mix of overgrown and stress-bitten nails tapped against the windowsill to the same tune of the dripping drops. Yuuta didn’t care to wait for an answer, so he turned around with a sigh to look through their closet for something that wasn’t ugly, raggedy,  _ poor _ , for what must have been the hundredth time that night. His poor brother, so desperate to fit in yet being the second and final piece of the Aoi Twin puzzle was what he surely hated most. No, he wanted to fit in with the cool kids- or even just someone who knew what a normal home-life was like. 

The rain continues on outside, and Hinata thinks about how the sky ever manages to stop crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> local bitch taking a stochastic processes class and fell in love with markov chains kyaa~ i wanted to do more with this but honestly school is so busy idk when id get around to it so!!! here it is as a drabble <3  
> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) and my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haiba_alisas) if you have any hinata prompts like seriously i love him


	8. binaria felidae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There should have been confusion, fear, anything other than the calm that occupied Hinata’s mind. Yet, his heart spoke that this was their truth: he and his twin were no longer human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written in about december 2019 and posting with no edits to it just to get it out my wips

Ever since Mom died, the twins were led to believe they were monsters. Words out of their father’s mouth, whispers between their classmates, stares from strangers on the streets. Even teachers were at a loss for how to treat them.

Yuuta didn’t feel like a monster. He had hands and feet just like any other person. Hinata pointed out that Yuuta did write with his left hand, but there were plenty of other left-handed people, and who is to say that a monster couldn’t be right handed. 

Hinata sometimes felt like he wasn’t human. He’d look at Yuuta like a mirror, fearing if he looked at a true reflective surface his face would be absent from it. He doubted if there should have been two Aoi’s, and that he was a parasite invading what could have been a perfect family.

It wasn’t until they were 12 that they learned their humanity had a limit.

Waking up in the middle of the night to a raging fire overtaking the house. Hinata woke up to watery eyes and coughs overtaking his body. His shared room with Yuuta felt warmer than usual and he wondered briefly if his brother had snuck into his bed during the night again, but then heard similar coughs from above him in the top bunk. 

The roaring of the flames ravaging the house brought the twins out of their beds and ready to make a run for it. Just as they were about to, Yuuta pulled Hinata back with a worried scream as the roof collapsed. The door was blocked- their only path of escape. 

Flames nipped at their ankles and Yuuta held onto Hinata, crying his fears and goodbyes. Hinata looked to the window. They were on the second floor, but that wasn’t the problem here. Years ago when Hinata was playing airplane, he nearly fell out of the window, leading to his father installing bars over the window. 

Hinata dragged Yuuta to the window, opening it and taking a deep breath of air. He gripped the bars tightly and shook them with all his might, not much for a 12 year old. The roaring of the fire drowned out Yuuta’s sobs beside him, and Hinata pulled him closer as flames overtook the room.

_ This is it… This is what dying is.  _

_ Fear. _

Yuuta hugged Hinata,

_ Despair. _

Hinata squeezed his eyes shut even though the brightness of the room shone through his eyelids.

_ Desperation. _

It happened then. The transformation that forsake their humanity. One moment, they were the orange haired twins hanging onto each other in their last moments before fire overtook them, and then they were escaping through the bars in the window.

Yuuta jumped through it first and Hinata followed the long cat’s tail that trailed behind him. He didn’t think about anything other than escaping the flames, disregarding the fact that he and his brother landed on four paws instead of two human feet. He ran after Yuuta who escaped to the backyard of the neighbor’s house, and joined him in hiding in some bushes.

Their home was fully engulfed in flames and the neighborhood stood outside to observe it. Some people had their phones, either taking pictures or held up by their faces calling the authorities. 

Hinata turned to his brother to be met with slitted pupils and a furry face. The realization settled in upon looking at his brother, his mirror. Both of them were cats. Yuuta was black and white, and Hinata assumed he looked similar as well.

There should have been confusion, fear, anything other than the calm that occupied Hinata’s mind. Yet, his heart spoke that this was their truth: he and his twin were no longer human.


	9. broken thoughts i can't repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything happening without ever having to continue to exist. He’s already made some sort of mark after all, right? Even if he hasn’t, it means he could just count on the moon to be his own solitary friend, yet as she waxes and wanes she has never once known Hinata’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide, suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, drowning

The frayed straps of the backpack were the only things daring to give him an ounce of comfort on this bitter autumn night. He plays with them, rubbing the loose strings and threads underneath his frozen fingers in some loose-willed attempt to warm them up, but he cared less about generating heat and more about just feeling something against his skin. 

Around him, the youthful crescent moon reflects in the river- rushing ever so fast because of the past days of storms. At least now, the clouds have withered and there’s nothing to obstruct the gentle light of the moon, though her image is a bit distorted in the running water, he thinks she probably couldn’t even see herself from so high up so there’s no point in worrying about it. To exist so above and beyond life, where you’d never spare a glance to the billions of admirers of you, admirers who write songs, poems, legends- create gods out of you and prayers and dances based on your shifting form- well it just sounds like heaven to Hinata. Everything happening without ever having to do a thing other than exist. 

Everything happening without ever having to  _ continue _ to exist. He’s already made some sort of mark after all, right? Even if he hasn’t, it means he could just count on the moon to be his own solitary friend, yet as she waxes and wanes she has never once known Hinata’s name.

The river is the only thing that speaks to him right now, the rushing water calling to him with a comfort he imagines must be similar to a mother’s lullaby. Stray leaves flow atop the surface, pulled downstream by the will of the water, and Hinata is envious of how they can continue to stay afloat in this world that’s forsaken him as easily as the sunrises. So, he supposes it must have been only logical that to escape the weight of his imperfections, failures, and disastrous flaws that crush his brittle bones and collapse his lungs, that he must forsake the sun that taunts him everyday.

His shoulders ache and beg Hinata to drop the heavy backpack onto the ground and call it quits, but he reminds himself that he’s certainly been through worse pain than carrying a few big stones around. 

The release on his flimsy tether to life will far surpass any temporary relief in his aching chest.

Is it foolish then, to continue admiring the river? Or is it only a pleasantry, since after all he and the water will become one in a matter of minutes? He crouches down, ignoring how his calves burn and thighs quiver- really, when did he get to be so weak?- and ghosts his fingertips across the water.

It cools him, and on another night it may have calmed down his spiraling mind to rethink this choice, yet the exhaustion hanging off every muscle, tendon, vein in his body begged for this. He owes it to the body he’s pushed to the limit for years just trying to survive to the next day. This can be a selfish action he won’t feel guilty about; it’s one well deserved.

Hinata tilts his head up to look at the moon again. Somehow, he still hears a small part of him that asks for a sign to not do this, but the moon is silent while the river continues whispering his name. It is a siren lulling him into the depths, ready to cradle his unfortunate soul until he passes on, yet he retracts his fingers from the water, shaking them dry. He doesn’t want to do this- he doesn’t think he can. Isn’t he crazy for this? He hasn’t said goodbye (but they don’t care). He hasn’t pet his cat one last time and kissed her head (she’s just an animal, she’ll move on to purr for the next person to give her food). He hasn’t even put in a two weeks notice, how will everyone know he stopped being an idol (they’ll know when my body washes up on shore).

He moves to stand up, so he can run away and try again to feign happiness, but the stones in his backpack tumble and shift his weight, sending him careening into the river. Murky water that was never really that pretty and only decorated with the pollution of the city greets him with a chilling grip, tighter on his neck than his father’s hands had ever been. 

If there’s a splash, he can’t hear it.

It seems there was no escaping this outcome after all.


End file.
